Moonrocks and Lamentations

[Snoogans4Jay]

Well this topic has been copied from Fear the Voices.......but I think it is always appropriate...

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Well this has been an interesting year for me. Let me just say crushes are often better than reality and while I would certainly never turn down any of the Boys in Chains or Mr. Lydon for a one night fuck (who would?----er guys don't answer that one ), I am not so sure I could ever do more despite my many fantasies of eternal bliss with a rock musician <---he is laughing not crying ----> <--is crying------.

Having been single for the past five and a half years, I have gotten used to computers and fantasies of HOT ASS men . And you know what? I LIKE it better than the real thing sometimes . And I am not USED to worrying about "will he call? should I call ? I haven't talked to him in a day and a half he must be pissed at me . Did I say that wrong ? Oh GOD, now he will NEVER talk to me again" <---wanta see examples on film of this shit? Go watch the movie Singles (HEY we need a THREAD for Singles on here.. .....Alice is SO in that movie )

Anyhows....... ........this post made no sense except to a couple of people.... .....but that is what this thread is for......those days when you would rather be hit by a MOON ROCK than have all the mixed and weird and irrational feelings that you have

[johnnysgirl]

Ohh... I love living in fantacies.. much better than reality....

[Snoogans4Jay]

True. But when he is real you can touch hee heeeee More trouble and work though ;D

For example. This past Valentines we had a GREAT time and really enjoyed being together on the plus side. On the "work" side though, he busted my CD player in half. With real relationships there is always that negative every so often to deal with . As Jhonen Vasquez would no doubt say "the negative factor of real human emotions is to complicate things". Then there is the fact that he lives so far away, we see each other once a month or every other month......... I don't know if that kind of thing is easier when you are younger or not . It isn't easy speaking for myself as an "old lady" of sorts. Bring on the moonrocks

[Snoogans4Jay]

Well the latest is already up on the Life thread........Shandon has kids. I don't want kids. Neither does he so he says yet he has them so there it is. I will not support them. Or will I. Bring on the Moonrocks

[Snoogans4Jay]

Well I am taking a bit less hard edge now with time to think about it. Whatever he wants I will try to support him with. I still don't want kids but this doesn't mean I have kids, it means HE has kids. And so far I have him. So I am forever connected like that and will do what is required to help him. Poor Baby has enough on his mind I guess I will adopt the Pump Up the Volume attitude of So Be It and just go with the flow.....such is life, why make it more complex than it has to be.

[Snoogans4Jay]

Latest lamentations for me. Shandon has said I need to lose around 25 lbs or he is taking the ring back until I do. Try that on for motivation

[Snoogans4Jay]

Well for anyone reading this soap opera, I got to keep the damn ring but I am sore as SHIT from walking up hills and exercising . Don't ever get out of shape because the journey back is pure HELL

[Snoogans4Jay]

August 9th heading to CA to visit Shan again. This time is different because I will meet the kids. All four of them Dammit.

[Snoogans4Jay]

So far, things have gone well with the kids. Not perfect but well. I was surprised by how sexy it makes him to see him with the kids and being "Dad". I loved seeing him with them just to pieces. He really IS my Baby, but there is something special, very special in seeing him be tender and sweet with the kids. I LOVED seeing him play on Sunday with Troy before the church. Troy sang "I'll Fly Away" with Shandon backing him on vocals and guitar. AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG I just couldn't take much more of that it was so sexy and sweet and adorable and touching etc. They look so much like him. Troy is darker skin tone wise because his Mom is Italian, but his eyes are as blue as Shan's. WHYYYYY do men get to have naturally long lashes? Dammit. Coda and Jacoby also have their dad's dark hair and blue/green eyes. Shanna has green eyes but looks more like her Dad than she ever could her Mom (though I admittedly have only seen one picture of her). It is ridiculous really that I try to get along with them more because they so look like their Dad but it IS true.

On Sunday we went to his Church, HE preached (who EVER would think that was sexy but it WAS), he and Troy performed two songs, and then we had a big "picnic" style lunch at the church and a youth softball game. Shan and Troy are VERY good. Sigh. I am so gone on him. Shan let me stand with him as his girlfriend. I was honored and a bit awkward. Okay more than a bit.

Monday we went to the beach and THAT wore me out. Four kids and a day at the beach and burned like a Nagasaki survivor. Damn. It DID make it a bit more bearable though that people at the beach probably thought I was fat due to four kids rather than just booze and being lazy .

Tuesday was SeaWorld and I have to say that was just awful as well as some fun I guess. I was so punch drunk after one of the big drop rides (I can't swim). We were there for nearly 7 hours (at least it seemed) and we went to eat after that at a little restaurant that the kids could play at (not sure if it was McDonalds, Burger King or what, I was too out of it by then to care where we stopped) but it HAD a kids play area. Thank God.

Wednesday was Shan's birthday and after a party at the church with the kids we left for Seattle. The kids went home with their Mom's sister. Except for Troy. He stayed with us until Sunday then he returned to San Diego. I hated that as I had hoped he would be with us to watch True Blood last night but we had to talk on the phone about it. Shan and I ate with Bryan and Molly (Shan's best friend and his Heather Locklear looking girlfriend --ugg) at the Space Needle. Then we went to the Tavern to watch live music and drink (yeah yeah I know). Shan and I got drunk I would say as I don't really recall that much of the ride back to the hotel . We have had fun in Seattle, I took him to see where Layne lived, as well as the Rock museum there. Kurt Cobain's sweater is one of the items on display. Good ole Seattle. It will cost us about 1500 a month for a good apartment there, around 1200 for a more modest one. I am figuring that is acceptable as we wont' have that many other expenses. I have furniture and so does he. Just my car payment (he doesn't have a car payment), and his child support as outside expenses besides food and utilities.

Well tonight we are staying in, then tomorrow we return----he to CA, and me to NC (dammit )

And that is my vacation and life so far, how is yours? Any Moonrocks and Lamentations? This thread should be far more popular if anyone has life experiences with partners to talk about. This is our "vent" thread for relationships.....

[Shan]

I don't want to get into things on public message boards but thank you, you know how much it means to me.

[Snoogans4Jay]

Aug 17, 2009 20:41:31 GMT -5 Shan said:

I don't want to get into things on public message boards but thank you, you know how much it means to me.

You are welcome Babe. It is a bit awkward that you read this stuff because it was intended to be a place to kind of .......well.........vent. I know today is your son's 8th birthday and THAT is way awkward for me. I hate that you are there near the ex. But I guess I have to learn to deal with it, she will always be their mother and therefor tied to you. Fuck. Anyways, Happy Birthday Coda.

[Shan]

Aug 24, 2009 21:29:47 GMT -5 Snoogans4Jay said:

Aug 17, 2009 20:41:31 GMT -5 Shan said:

I don't want to get into things on public message boards but thank you, you know how much it means to me.

You are welcome Babe. It is a bit awkward that you read this stuff because it was intended to be a place to kind of .......well.........vent. I know today is your son's 8th birthday and THAT is way awkward for me. I hate that you are there near the ex. But I guess I have to learn to deal with it, she will always be their mother and therefor tied to you. Fuck. Anyways, Happy Birthday Coda.

Do you want me to stop reading this particular thread?

[Snoogans4Jay]

Sept 8, 2009 19:53:05 GMT -5 Shan said:

Aug 24, 2009 21:29:47 GMT -5 Snoogans4Jay said:

You are welcome Babe. It is a bit awkward that you read this stuff because it was intended to be a place to kind of .......well.........vent. I know today is your son's 8th birthday and THAT is way awkward for me. I hate that you are there near the ex. But I guess I have to learn to deal with it, she will always be their mother and therefor tied to you. Fuck. Anyways, Happy Birthday Coda.

Do you want me to stop reading this particular thread?

If I said yes you still would, you know you wouldn't be able to help it. Human nature

[Snoogans4Jay]

Okay so Babe. Here we are. We have some decisions to make. I know you need your kids, and I love them in my way. I know you feel differently from me on some crucial creation issues. But I also know that together we have fun. No stress, or at least less of it. That feels good. We understand each other. Who CARES if those other in our lives don't, they will come around with enough love from the two of us. It is up to you. And me. Us. Together. We will either do it or fail, but either way we will define our futures. Together or separate. That is up to us. My vote is together, what is yours?

[Shan]

Oct 3, 2009 17:58:47 GMT -5 Snoogans4Jay said:

Okay so Babe. Here we are. We have some decisions to make. I know you need your kids, and I love them in my way. I know you feel differently from me on some crucial creation issues. But I also know that together we have fun. No stress, or at least less of it. That feels good. We understand each other. Who CARES if those other in our lives don't, they will come around with enough love from the two of us. It is up to you. And me. Us. Together. We will either do it or fail, but either way we will define our futures. Together or separate. That is up to us. My vote is together, what is yours?

together