Sex Pistols guru: "Jesus Was a Sausage"Monday, May 07 2007
McLaren, 61, who was taking part in an ITV reality television show, The Baron, shocked locals at the annual strawberry fair in Gardenstown, Banffshire, when he called their village a "s**t-hole" and urged them to go and smoke large quantities of cannabis. He also declared: "Jesus was a sausage."
Anarchy in Gardenstown - how Sex Pistols guru was thrown out of a
Highland village
SHAN ROSS ( sross@scotsman.com sross@scotsman.com)
The Scotsman
MALCOLM McLaren, the godfather of British punk and former manager of
the Sex Pistols, has been run out of a small Scottish fishing village
after a blasphemous rant during his pitch to become their laird.
McLaren, 61, who was taking part in an ITV reality television show, The
Baron, shocked locals at the annual strawberry fair in Gardenstown,
Banffshire, when he called their village a "s**t-hole" and urged them to
go and smoke large quantities of cannabis. He also declared: "Jesus was
a sausage."
The two other contenders to become laird and hold the honourable title
13th Baron of Troup - Mike Reid, former star of EastEnders, and Suzanne
Shaw, erstwhile singer with pop group Here'Say - had just finished
their election speeches when McLaren began his tirade.
"I've been here a few days and I've found it absolutely boring. I'm
sick to death of it," he began. "The cod have left this town and I don't
blame them. Soon I'll be joining them."
Attempting to drown out a growing chorus of boos and catcalls from the
close-knit religious community, McLaren shouted: "Gardenstown must
smoke lots of ganga. As baron I will want a free Gardenstown. I will
transform it into a heathen's paradise."
Michael Watt, the harbourmaster, who has attempted to integrate the
celebrities into village life during their ten-day campaign, grabbed the
microphone and remonstrated with a bemused McLaren.
Undeterred but puzzled by the angry shouts of "get him off", McLaren
continued with his somewhat alternative manifesto, during which he said
the harbour should be painted red and a wicker man built on the beach in
which the remnants of the village's religious life (there are five
churches for the 800 residents) should be burned.
"I want to declare a holiday, every year," he managed before Mr Watt
pushed him away from the microphone.
McLaren forced his way back and declared: "Jesus is a sausage," before
being bundled from the podium.
The Rev Donald Martin, a Church of Scotland minister, said: "There were
a couple of hundred people at the fair. They were all horrified."
McLaren was escorted out of the village by the television crew and is
now believed to be residing in a hotel in Aberdeen.
An ITV spokesman, attempting to put McLaren's views in "context", said:
"He is a very outspoken character who believes in freedom of speech."
Filming of the programme, to be aired in the summer, is continuing
without McLaren.
McLAREN 'WIT AND WISDOM'
ON THE ROYAL FAMILY: "[They] are a brilliant metaphor for all that is
pretentious, deluded, selfish and insincere about England"
ON THEFT: "Stealing things is a glorious occupation, particularly in
the art world"
ON ROCK AND ROLL: "Rock and roll doesn't necessarily mean a band ...
It's that question of trying to be immortal"
ON FORMER FRIEND AND SEX PISTOL JOHN LYDON: "Not to be smart-arsed
about it but, if you live in Malibu, where he does, it's a place where
rock stars go to die"
ON TV TALENT SHOW THE X-FACTOR: "Talent needs three ingredients to make
a real lasting impact - sex, subversion and style. The X-Factor does
not find anyone with those"
ON CULTURE: "Our culture has become a notion of boredom that is bought
and sold, where nothing will happen"
ON POLITICS: "I am not a politician. I do not wish to be treated like a
politician. And, furthermore, I don't believe in politicians"
ON PUNK: "We never really sold records. What we sold was an attitude,
which I guess in the end sold newspapers"
ON THE RECORD INDUSTRY: "All these kids are trying to make pop records
only for one reason - to escape"
