some poetry :)

[M!$H]

sooo I've been self publishing & distributing chapbooks (little books of poems) since I was 13.... which leads me to having a CRAPLOAD of poems floating around. so i figured i'd post a few on here, so everyone could get to know me a little bit better.

Me Today
I spend my days waiting
Clumsily shifting through life
A cube in a gumball machine;
Falling through empty space
Seeing the ground - but never hitting
Sailing past
Crying
The raindrops making the indigo dye run
My legs stained and ugly, blue,
And the air wet, cold, clammy
Thick like paint.

(this one was originally formatted really crazy, sooo it isn't as spectacular without the shape, but oh well.)

You Are All I Want
You are

Stars falling and bouncing like raindrops

Cars that go too fast

The soothing, hypnotic hum of the lake

The warm fire crackly

A hand to hold.


The Poem About Control
How is everything you do effortless?
The way your hand glides again mine -
The soft motion of your breath
The swirling scent of cologne -
My heart breaks, softly -
As you spin the steering wheel
Without looking -


The glass shattering on my arms.


(This is a pantoum, a seriously structured pattern poem)
The Forgotten Girl

No one ever seems to remember me
I can stand in a crowd and feel invisible
When I was little, I was a bully
I once slammed a boy's hand in a door on purpose;

I can stand in a crowd and feel invisible
Sometimes I want to hurt people
Once, I slammed a boy's hand in a door on purpose
I can't help but feel like I deserved to;

Sometimes I want to hurt people
The idea of someone feeling as invisible as I do makes me happy
I can't help but feel like I deserve to
I just wish I were as invisible as everyone made me feel;

When I was little, I was a bully
The idea of someone feeling as invisible as I do makes me happy
I just wish I were as invisible as everyone made me feel
No one ever seems to remember me.


(another pantoum. this one is about my friend's father, who killed himself last year on the 4th of July. Yeah.)
The Day in July When the World Stopped

The old oak tree shivered in the wind
I ran until my calves burned hot like coals
He was already gone by the time they found him
I fell onto my knees on the bed of the creek

I ran until my calves burned hot like coals
I screamed as loud as my lungs would let me
I fell onto my knees on the bed of the creek
You fell beside me and you cried so hard

I screamed as loud as my lungs would let me
I tilted my head to the sky and drank in the finality
You fell beside me and you cried so hard
The rocks were cutting into my shins painfully

The old oak tree shivered in the wind
I tilted my head to the sky and drank in the finality
He was already gone by the time they found him
The rocks were cutting into my shins and bleeding.


(ANOTHER pantoum)
Coyotes Screaming
I'm gray all over and you're dark boiling red;
You stand outside my window in the gritty moonlight
Austin can never sleep in August
Sometimes I wake up crying

You stand outside my window in the gritty moonlight
I climbed through your window one night
I had woken up crying
You pretended not to notice as I curled up against your back;

I climbed through your window one night
Coyotes screaming at the sweaty August moon
You pretended not to notice as I curled up against your back
I could feel the thump of your heart, gentle and uniform

Austin can never sleep in August
I'm gray all over and he's dark boiling red
I can feel the thump of his heart, gentle and uniform
While coyotes scream at the sweaty August moon.

Not Enough Make Up in the World
I'm green all over
And you're crying
So I hold you
But then you shift
And you hurt my ankle
And you wrap me up
Because it wasn't an accident,
Because it's happened before
You've punched me in the stomach
Because you were angry
You're mean
But you hold me
You hold me until the moon drifts away
And you look human again
In the daylight
But I'm scared of you
On the red couch
I'm green all over
And bruised
And the make up is thick and tacky in the summer heat.















So yeah there you go.

[Snoogans4Jay]

Those are AMAZING Mishhell... .....they remind me of Henry Rollins work in his book 2.13.61 MORE MORE MORE

[Tao~]

Those are some of the BEST poems I have read in a long time....You really have a gift.....I am a HUGE fan of poetry....so this was right up my alley......Great job!! and please post more.....

[M!$H]

(These are from the chapbook "It Was a Lie When They Smiled")

Pink

And life is pink
Like it's supposed to be;

Life was gray
Gray like loose ethics
Gray like the rain
Gray like your eyes when you cry;

Life was red
Red like resentment
Red like bloodshot eyes at night
Red like blood coming from an empty vein;

Life was blue
Blue like the little vein on your wrist
Blue like a shadow
Blue like a bruise, blossoming and bleeding out;

Life was white
White like an empty bed
White like an empty page
White like a newborn baby;

It all bleeds into pink
Waves like painful and stinging blights
And here we are.
Where we should be;

Life is pink
Pink like lips
Pink like the flowers that you give me when I cry
Pink like falling down and there being no hand to pull you up.


Echoing Blot

The day passed like an echoed blot on a piece of graph paper,
Smeared to the side like an endless rain drop;
my life is empty without you...
empty like a book laying in wait on a table
never touched and never seen – broken and lonely.


(from "Live Evil")
Music is my Backbone

Dear Music -

Do you remember
"Alcohol" by Demerol?
And drawing black eyeliner
Around Justin's blue eyes,
While propped on the counter in
The bathroom of Jena's house
On Halloween last year?

Do you remember
"Rainbow Store" by the New York Dolls?
And Devon Wright and Bug-eyed Dan
Smashing Guthrie's face into the
Gutter on South 6th Street?

Do you remember
"Tainted Love" by SoftCell?
And the impromptu bonfire
At Fall Creek,
And all the videos involving
Bee hives and boondock livin'?

Do you remember
"Touchdown Turnaround" by Hellogoodbye?
And making tomato sandwiches
For Lucas and Tyrell in the kitchen
Of the trailer in Noti
And then, the cops showed up?

Do you remember
"Something Tells Me" by Insane Clown Posse?
And camping out under a blanket
Along Row River?

I do - I remember -
And you are my backbone
For my body, for my life, for my memories -

And music will always be
The beating of my heart
The rhythm to which I live.

My Personal Graveyard Is Where I Stand Alone

purple flowers, sweet-smelling orchids, bloom
around the grave where i sleep;

there is a pale green shadow
around where i lie;

my headstone is oversized
marble and looming
a masculine shadow over my head;

the gate swings, creaking like a voice,
on it's old rusty hinges;

the trees brush and sway,
the wind rushes
the sweet smell of orchids making
my bloated mind hazy;

summer sun setting as my eyes open wide
stand on the hill in the black of night
my shadow a single silhouette on the ghost faced moon.

(this last one is from my very first chapbook, "Scream A Little Louder")
Last Goodbyes

Vagrant disregard of rules
There are reasons why she cries
Gentle wind is soaring by
As she says her last goodbye;

A white veil across the face
Hides blue eyes that wish to chase
Away the spirits, away the past,
Her pale cheeks no longer chaste;

Brown wood, smooth like rain,
Take the bottle – wash away the pain
Drink it down like medicine
You'll awake and cry again;

Roses set upon the grave
Markings for too young a man
She remembers all to her he gave
It's too much for her to stand;

Floating gently in the breeze
Drifting high above the trees
The rainbow dims, so close and near
There is just – just hanging here
Stairway to heaven, lead me so
She can't see which way to go
Fall and fall to the depths of hell
She can't find the words to tell.

Forget respect
Remember this
Fate is sealed with just one kiss
Remember all the years she cries;
Forever are our last goodbyes.

[elisabeth]

Your talent is definitely praise worthy, I must say I loved the pantoums the most, remind me of the style of my favourite authors. And I think ''Music is my backbone'' is very witty. Any chance of you writing a Johnny themed poem? XD Anyway we're all anticipating for more, Johnny-themed or not. ; )